My name is Miriam, and I live in south Texas. I am 31 and soon to be 32. Oh geez, I hate the sound to that! I found this website by mere coincidence or perhaps by the grace of GOD.
Let me tell you a bit about me. I have a BA in communication sciences and disorders and I am a fully certified special needs teacher. I have 8 years of experience in this field and absolutely love it.
I am the youngest of 5 children. My siblings are married and have families of their own. My father just turned 70 and suffers from depression. I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer 2 years ago and that has been the worst experience of my life. She had been misdiagnosed for almost a year and lived in pain and confusion up until diagnosis.
My GOD...watching the greatest love of my life wither away was soooooo painful for me. On September 3, 2006, I witnessed my mother's passing. Those moments are so fresh in my memory and replay them like a fluent movie almost every night.
The past 4 years have been miserable. In part because I lost 1/2 of my heart and 1/2 of my soul the day mom died. Then the relationship I was in turned out to be a scam because he had lied to me for almost year. He was married! Unfortunatley, a month after mom died, I discovered that I was pregnant and after learning about his secret, I nearly hated myself to almost the point of suicide.
Because the knowledge of my pregnancy wasn't convinient to him, he decided to physically harm me and I lost my child. THEN the depression hit. I lost my job soon after, and had nothing to live off of. My friends were the greatest because they kept me fed and kept my utilities running.
My family was in bad shape already and I was not too important to them at the time because they all had their own issues.
Now, I am grateful to having a job, but I am in such financial dismay that I just got paid today and I am already at - 112 dollars in the bank. I still have another 30 days before I see some money again. I have yet to catch up on bills and necessities because I lost it all when mom died.
The only thing I owned was stolen in November. I had just moved to a smaller apartment in a not so good part of town and upon my 2nd night there I was burglerized and had everything stolen.
This year alone, I was diagnosed with a breast lump, and SJorgens. My dental condition is beyond my means to repair. I lost 6 molars already and it has affected me tremendoulsy because I have no funds to get dental work.
I am eagerly trying to find a better paying job so that I can have better insurance and be able to have a salary that will enable me to live comfortably. I have submitted so many resumes to pharmaceutical companies in search of a sales position. Getting a job of that sort is like finding a needle in a haystack.
I cry often...because I really want to have a family, and traditions. I lost all that when mom died. I want to have Christmas and 4th of July celebrations again. My personal life is just about non-exist because I have yet to find a man who is genuine and sincere with a great heart and an awesome sense of humor. I have already convinced myself that NOT everyone is entitled to happiness!...:)